Help Me Save My Marriage And Stop My Divorce In Its Tracks

If the odds are bad how can I save my marriage

The statistics are against you. Two out of every three relationships end badly or broken up and if you add to that the number of couples that stay together 'because of the children' or simply because it's convenient, then you might wonder how it is that any two people stay together happily at all. It doesn't have to be like that though. You can buck the trend if you want to and if you know what to do. You can have a long and happy marriage if you want it badly enough.

Married people do not have a monopoly on pain

Partners and unmarried couples all go through exactly the same relationship problems as do married people. It may not be called divorce but when a relationship ends in a break up it can feel every bit as painful. What is it about people that appears to make it so difficult to stay together? What makes you drift away from your partner?

Are people meant to stay together

It seems to me that nature designed us so that we would be able to tolerate a mate just long enough to raise kids before moving on. It sounds harsh but if you look at what happens in life it fits the pattern.

It doesn't have to be like this though. You can beat nature if you want to. You just have to understand what's going on and take the right action to prevent natural relationship rot. Learn how to keep your relationship alive and work it consistently and constantly.

A good marriage doesn't deserve to die of neglect

Everything that's good in this life needs to be worked at and marriage is no different. If you neglect your relationship then your marriage will surely die a natural death. Pay attention to it and apply lots of tender loving care and it will reward you handsomely. A long happy marriage does not come naturally to most people so it's important that you learn how to nurture it and keep it alive.

Let your marriage evolve into what you want it to be

Evolution is just nature doing things by trial and error. It keeps the good results from the trials and discards the bad outcomes. You can do the same with your marriage.

Make a point of trying something new with your partner every day. It doesn't have to be a big thing as long as it's something that you haven't done before. You might take your partner to somewhere they have never been before or you might set your alarm to get you up ten minutes earlier. It doesn't matter what you do as long as you record the outcome. Did the trial make your partner happier or not? If it did then you can continue to do similar things. If it did not then don't do it again.

It's as simple as that. Eventually after many many trials your marriage will begin to improve and that will make divorce less likely than it was before.

Education, education, education

You can speed up or even short circuit the evolutionary process in your marriage by studying what has worked for other people and of course what doesn't work. There are some very good books that will help you with this like the one here - The Magic Making Up System

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